Back in the late summer of 2001, Tillietoiler announced one night that her cancer had returned. She explained what the oncologist had told her and said she had decided on basically no treatment. Chances were she would survive no more than 6 months. That announcement was around August 27, 2001.

She was concerned her announcement would upset people and she did not want everyone to feel ‘ down’ and glum so after sharing her news, she then invited us to a bonfire. She encouraged all members to come toss their unsmoked cigarettes on the bonfire, along with any tobacco advertising or coupons. And so began the nightly bonfire.

Each night Tillie, aka Mary, would start the fire and invite us to join her. In turn, we would tell how many cigs we hadn’t smoked as we threw them on the fire. After a while we began throwing other things on the fire, like frustrations, and credit card statements, now and then a spouse who was irritating, coworkers and bosses and tobacco company execs! Most nights Mary would grab a ‘comforter’ and snuggle near the bonfire and get ‘wumphy’, which was a word created from warm and comfy.  

During the fall of 2001 Mary’s fight with cancer began to slow her down and she sometimes asked Denise or another friend to start the bonfire for her. In early December she moved into a nursing home for her final days. Even then she was arranging to have her computer moved to the nursing home so she could still log on to the Q.

She and Denise (withoutmerit) developed the idea to form a Bonfire Brigade to help keep the bonfire started each night, when Mary could no longer do it. Denise asked Leejay, Pepper38Mint and cwt (Carolyn) to join the Brigade. And so the Bonfire Brigade Babes were born!!

On December 27, 2001 Mary J. Merrey, aka Tillietoiler passed away and became our very own Q-Angel. The bonfire has continued on since then.

Originally the bonfire was located in some cyber-woods near the Q. Sometimes it would be held at a beach, but was usually held there in the woods, surrounded by darkness. When coming through the woods, it was always a welcome sight to see the bonfire burning brightly and all your friends gathered around. Mary always supplied hot dogs, hamburgers and her world-famous tea, iced or hot. We added some coolers with soft drinks in the blue cooler and beer and stronger in the red cooler. We drew strength from and offered support to each other.

When the Q upgraded its’ website on March 31, 2002 the bonfire moved to new quarters. One of the new BBB’s, Darsha, created Q-Island and moved the bonfire there. She added a large grill, along with a chef, the Tiki Bar for beverages and hot tubs for relaxing. A hammock area was also there. Pepper came up with the dancing dolphins at the beach, performing each evening. Pepper also built The Gazebo, with the shiny dance floor so there would be a proper place for dancing and we didn’t have to worry about sand in our shoes. A ferry transported members from the Q over to Q-Island.

The bonfire is lit each night between 5 pm and 7 pm, Eastern time. Everyone is welcome at the bonfire, even those who have not yet quit smoking. The purpose of the bonfire is to relax, talk about your day, unload your unsmoked cigarettes into the fire, along with frustrations, etc. Gather with friends, laugh much, eat even more, toast a few marshmallows, snooze in a hammock, swim with the dolphins, soak in a hot tub and play some tunes and dance, all while imbibing in your favorite beverage from the Tiki Bar, delivered by a cabana boy or girl. Bickering or flaming should be discouraged at the bonfire, even comments about flame wars that took place earlier in the day. The bonfire is meant to be a safe haven to relieve the stress brought on by quitting smoking. Mary’s one request was to have fun, but to keep it clean. 

So now you know the history of our beloved bonfire and how it came to be.